Sunday, 3 February 2013

As if MND Wasn't Enough

On Monday, I woke up at 5:00 with an excruciating pain in my left kidney. I woke Elaine and she got me out of bed. I thought that it might be wind or constipation, which can be surprisingly painful, so I had Elaine take me to the loo. This is a palaver at the best of times with two carers, but with just Elaine, and me in pain, it was a major ordeal. In any event, it made no difference except that we couldn't get my trousers back up again.

We dialled 999 and when they arrived the two young female ambulance crew were treated to the unedifying sight of me groaning and rocking with my trousers around my ankles. They got me decent in short order, although by now I was feeling dizzy, and couldn't have cared if the whole of Ealing got a look at my tackle.

They got me into the ambulance and strapped me to what I can only describe as an ironing board. I hate being laid flat on my back, because saliva pools at the back of my throat,so they had me on my side. Aside from the pain in my back, this was a pretty uncomfortable position, and I kept feeling as though I was falling off the ironing board. Suffice it to say that between pain, panicking and choking, the journey to hospital was one of the worst experiences of my life. Not something I wish to repeat.

In the event, the hospital was a major anticlimax. The relief at being moved onto a proper hospital bed was immense, and the administration of a bit of IV paracetamol sorted out the pain. I drifted off to sleep as the pain diminished, which was delicious. It took the rest of the day hanging around the hospital before a scan revealed that I had a 2mm kidney stone in my left kidney. Apparently 2mm kidney stones don't even warrent being broken up with ultrasound and should just 'pass' naturally. I bet the other kidney stones kick sand in its face too.

We finally got home at 3:00 am in the morning, after another rather unpleasant ambulance ride. I await the stone's passing with interest.

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